Enabler

SO he's mad at me for paying the phone bill. I was supposed to save that money to contribute toward the first month of rent after I already gave the deposit on my own. So, I'm supposed to give 900 while he gives 500... that's fair......

I am so afraid that it's going to be like this every month. I make less than him but I'm expected to pay more? I know it's premature to assume I'll be paying more on everything, but based on everything so far, it's not unrealistic. I'm bad with money, he's REALLY bad with money. I can see why it affected past relationships. He gets his paychecks and goes nutty with buying stuff before he pays his bills, then doesn't have enough for all of his bills. I know when to stop bc I'm cutting it really close. He doesn't. I strongly doubt he'd let me take control of his paychecks and such. Plus, it direct deposited into his account. If I do end up paying more than my share of bills in the first few months, I will recommend that. I'm the only one that can save it seems, and I should be given that chance... I should not be needing to pay for my 40 year old boyfriend to have a place to live.

So I also did all sorts of cleaning today. That doesn't matter though, bc he's mad. I guess bills and cleaning stand for nothing anymore. Goddess knows he won't do it. He'll gett pissy if he has to do it when he was waiting for me to do it. GODS FORBID his computer time get cut, and he do more than dishes once every to every other week, the laundry (what a joke, so easy, not even a chore!), and vacuum once every few months. When he does something its worth more than if anyone else does it.

Maybe I'm enabling him by doing it. I do like a clean house. He said he does too, but maybe not. Maybe I'm becoming mom. I am so not paying for everything AND doing all of the housework.

He's doing his distant thing now. Maybe he'll think about it tomorrow and realize how stupid he's being. Maybe he'll be stubborn and stick to his guns. Maybe he's partially mad at himself for not being able to save and is taking it out on me. Its not my fault. I'm just trying to be resposible. Someone has to. This used to bother me much more though. I would normally be pretty unravelled right now. Obviously I'm worried but it's more about my end of the long term than him being mad at me now. Whatever. He should be able to see how he is being, especially if he expects me to see how I am sometimes. And I do. He would be a hypocrite if he didn't realize how rediculous he's being. I have to talk to him if something is wrong, but gods forbid he talk to me. Typical man.